ObsiKyfimic

Ok! So, on the fact i havent been on DA for around 4 months now, i literally have at least 15.5K notifications... i dunno what im gonna do with my this account X(

School started beginning of August and its goin pretty well, decent grades without fail, friends are increasing as i go through this time in my life. I've gotten into music (Monstercat in particular, the best ), got over my addiction of porn (but its obviously still on my DA account, but i dont mind it), the thing about my addiction is that i masturbate to it and i thought it was a really bad thing to do especially in my teen years :/ 

Relationships... yeee about that (story time :3), i had mixed feelings about this girl cuz :i thought she was the one and shes real pretty and all" (pretty dumb of me to say these things right? yea, im an idiot) and of whom i never talked to, but i go up to her anyways on my birthday (one week before last day of school, May 22) and i said "i like you, a lot", unfortunately she liked me back cuz she said im nice (and i was like "is that it?" in my head D: ), she was my first kiss, EVER. She told me she loved me, i dont know why, she lied to me about having a phone number so that i could call her, she lied about loving me, yep an idiot for love. Ok, so over summer break i got her earrings. And on the first day of school i kissed her very awkwardly, next day she gave back the earrings i gave her and she wrote some kind of "letter" explaining why she doesnt like me anymore instead of saying this stuff to my face; she was cheating on me with 2 guys (her best friend and some other dude), family problems, a boyfriend she cant keep up with that she doesnt know and some other stuff i cant remember i am actually happy for her, she chooses who she likes and i appreciate her decision, but all the pda in school is overwhelming, its just everwhere, and i wasnt really mad/sad that day, i was pretty chill, i didnt really care either, doesnt matter who i am, there will always be someone better (i learned myself) and love sucks (friends taught me). and then i realized single life is best life

Overall, girls and love suck, dont ever fall in love in the future, keep working hard, have fun, be happy, go do something with your life that will distract you from what is temporary (such as material items and love) so you can feel like your awesome (moral of story) 

i hope everyone here that i follow on DA knows i am still here, im not dead, and im not just a lone follower of likable art, i am my own individual person and will strive to keep in contact with the people i love here <3 love you guys, stay awesome, have an amazing week 

I dunno, another update i guess? But besides that, I've realized no girl would ever like "me", and by that I mean by my personality and looks, and to further explain..
It's ok to be single your entire life, and it means I'll forever to be alone and anonymous so that no one will bother me... EVER!

Reasons why I can't and will never have a girlfriend/wife:

1: I look stupid, I am the ugliest looking fart in the whole room, THE piece of crap in your toilet that you just got out of your system, and I do weird things whilst doing it in reality. 
2: I'm short, skinny and weak, but I'm actually stronger than I look, but not satisfied with it, but I don't really care about appearance.
3: I have low IQ, I don't even do the easiest work that a 5 year old could do, and grades in school are NEVER great at all.
4: I'm the most awkward, self-centered, unsociable person you'll ever meet, I have many personal problems in which I share to 'friends', and I'm the guy in a group of people that no one talks to but hangs out with the smartest, nicest and funniest guy in school.

Basically life right there

Oh yeah its my birthday on the 22nd! Plz dont wish me happy birthday cuz its gonna go completely wrong DX

Ok, pretty much working on more of my drawing skills in art class, and i gotta say, I've been getting a bit better. School is going great, except the fact that school is coming to a close and some of my close friends are moving away, AND that I'm failing English, all C's throughout the English course of the year but it's fine... School although is kinda bringing me down and because of that my parents get stressed out on a daily basis because of my failing grades and things I need to be consistent on. More procrastination here and there but overall its not going so well

Moving past school, I have been getting less sleep, I don't exactly see a change in my height since last Christmas so I need to get that checked. I get mood swings a whole lot but its just part of teen life. Drawing getting a bit better, drew a Monstercat logo and I think it looks well, I might post it here (its not that good). 

Future planning/shtuff: Single my whole life, video games forever, get better at drawing... or somehing... figure out money thingies and how life works... usual business but its going fine so far, i don't really care if I die right now or tomorrow, it was nice having friends and you guys to read this so yyeeeeee....

My own parents want to give me away, I don't understand the meaning of porn, having bad grades fucks up my brain, I think everyone looks down on me, and this is just a waste of a journal because I've been having a pretty bad day... this pretty much means I suck at life.

There's a question I've been asking myself a lot, and it's "How can I be successful if I'm not smart or talented? How can I be like you guys if I'm fucking up my own life?!" Its easier to end your life than to live it, I can just die right now, no one would care, and pretty much be alone and be sent to hell 

There is a Military Ball this coming Saturday, I got my uniform to wear, but I'm not bringing a date, that's just dumb. There's gonna be lots of people to meet, I'm going to have to introduce myself, but I get really nervous and shy in front of people I don't know or is just now meeting. Its from 6pm to 11:30pm and I'm just going to sit there and do nothing. I might have some friends to talk to, but I'll just be sitting down in a chair being awkward to myself and staring off into space thinking about a lot of subjects such as sex, why I'm at this formal thingie, school, and my future if its gonna be what I'd hoped or not. Eeeehhhhh...

I also have been having trouble in class cuz i sleep. School is boring, wish there was some excitement to be made. I am an all night person, I choose to stay up all night doing homework until school starts, then when I'm in class, I look like I'm wasted, with messed up hair, drowsy body movement, responding in a weird way, so and so.